Who Are You?
by Fake Reincarnation
Summary: On her quest for Dimitri, Rose has lost herself. Dimitri has been watching her from afar, but has to battle his inner blood-thirst in every move he makes. He wants to protect her, but kill her at the same time. She just wants him dead. Switches POVs
1. Chapter 1

Rose's Point of View

Two years. I had given him two years of my life, and now, what's left of it? I am alone and broken, and it isn't just my heart anymore, but my spirit too. I got up from the bed and stared in the mirror. I tried to remember when I lost myself along the way, but I couldn't. I didn't even recognize the person I was staring at.

I knew I couldn't keep doing this to myself, but how I could I just stop looking. We had made a promise. Turning my head away from my unknown reflection, I sighed. I grabbed my pocketknife, ran to the bathroom, and slammed the door. I sat on the floor and closed my eyes tightly. Why does silence scream the truth?

As the metallic metal rushed across my upper thigh, I could only see one thing in my head. His face. It was his face that haunted my every waking moment since the Strogoi attack two years ago. When could I let him go?

When I finally opened my eyes, I stared at the white tiles beneath me being taken over by the fresh red color of my blood. I laughed. Hadn't it been the same way with my heart? I was fine right before Dimitri came and left like he did. I have been struggling for weeks trying to figure out if I should blame myself for his end as a Dhampir or if I should blame him for everything. I wouldn't feel dead inside if it wasn't for him. How can you love and hate someone so much at one time?

"Why?" I whispered to myself. Haven't I been asking myself that same question every single day since I left. I could only hope for the well belated answer to show up one day. As I pulled my pants back up, I couldn't help but to glance in the mirror again. This mirror was larger than the one on the other wall. I could see my whole body. I looked sickly. I looked helpless. I look like Lissa did.

Touching my fingers to the mirror, I whispered, "Who are you?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! I hope you enjoy this. :) R&R please

*Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.

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Dimitri's POV

I could smell her blood. I was at least a mile away, yet I could still smell her rich blood pouring from somewhere on her body. My mouth watered at the thought of tasting it. The monster inside of me roared for it. I gripped the tree beside me to restrain myself from running over to her hotel room and killing her at that very moment.

**'How could you even think of doing that Dimitri? She is still Rose. You love her.'** But I knew I wasn't the same anymore. I was a monster, and I couldn't change that, but she could. I wanted her to kill me, but I needed to let her know how much I loved her still.

That's why I have been following her for the past two years. I always stayed in the shadows with at least a mile between us, for I did not want her to be able to sense me. It was only a year ago when I first smelt her blood. At first, I though she was hurt. I panicked then, but after the same thing happened continuously over the nights, I figured it out. The collected side of my mind wanted to run up to her and hold her close, but the rational part realized that that could never be.

I could never rid her of her pain as I once did, like in the cabin.

_She was so upset. She was afraid that she would turn out like Anna. I was trying to convince her that she wouldn't, but she didn't listen. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to convince her that she would be strong and she would be able to overcome this. "You can," I said. "You're strong- you're so, so strong. It's why I love you." It was the truth. For once, I was not afraid to share it with her._

_Roza was not convinced. She was so stubborn. "You shouldn't. I'm going to become something terrible. I might already be something terrible." I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to tell her that she could never be anything close to terrible._

_"You aren't. You won't. I won't let you. No matter what, I won't let you." Without saying anything else, I kissed her. I kissed her so deeply that love burst from every part of my being. I wanted more. I hungered for her love. _

_As I laid her on the bed, my conscience chimed in telling me to stop. "We can't..." I mumbled to her._

_She looked at me saying, "I know." Just the sound of her voice made me lose myself again, and this time, I knew there was no going back from it. I tore at her clothes quickly, as she did mine. The rush of heat and passion swarmed over us in such a fashion, that I was intoxicated by it. I wanted to touch and kiss every single inch of her beautiful body. _

_In no time at all, we were both completely bare from clothing, yet sweating from the intense heat. Looking into her eyes, our love was never so obvious. I told her it would hurt, but only for a quick moment. She said she trusted me and gave me permission to move on. She winced in pain at first, but she soon was pouring with pleasure. I let her take control when she wanted to. I remember thinking that she never ceased to amaze me. Every movement screamed bliss as we synchronized our motions._

_When we were done, she leaned against my chest. I kissed her forehead and ran my fingers through her silky hair. "I love you, Roza." I said, kissing her again. "I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."_

And I meant it. I was always going to protect her, monster or not. Opening my eyes, I realized that daybreak wasn't that far away. I had to go back to my home, if you could call that. I started running. Running was the only time when I didn't feel like a disgusting demon. I felt graceful. I could feel the wind rushing against every part of my body. I wasn't hurting anyone; I was just there. As I neared the house, I slowed down and walked at a normal rate to the front door. As I walked in, two pairs of red eyes landed on me.

"You saw her again didn't you?" Mia asked with disgust in her tone. She did not approve of me watching Rose. Like I cared. She took my silence as a yes and let out a frustrated sigh. She always tried to be in control of everything. I guess it was because she cared about me. I looked up at her and gave her an apologetic look. Her face softened. She was quite beautiful, nothing compared to Roza, but still beautiful. Her hair was made of blonde and brown strands that laid in gentle curls on her shoulders, and her body was petite yet strong. Her red eyes were the one thing that would of kept men away from her.

She was the most civil Strogoi I had ever met though, if it was possible to use both those words in the same sentence. She always brought Damien and me humans to feed on. They were usually homeless people or something of that stature. Humans were the only thing we fed on. We kept our distance from Moroi and Dhampirs so we wouldn't make any mistakes.

Damien was Mia's younger brother. Three years ago, their family was invaded by two Strogoi while they were on vacation together. Mia's daughter was killed as well as Max's wife. They were the only ones left behind. They were turned and left. That was when they vowed to not be malicious and kill everything in their path. It took them a year to fulfill that goal, but they did it.

They were the ones that found me. I was sitting in the woods watching Rose as I had been doing for months, when they happened upon me. At first I snarled at them and tried to fight, but after I realized they wanted no part of that, I calmed down. After a while of talking, I ended up here, in their home. They helped me become partially civilized. Well, as civilized as a monster could be. I slipped up sometimes. I have killed many Dhampirs over these past two years. Every time I do, I think of how it could be Rose, but the monster inside me doesn't let me quit. Mia doesn't know this.

Damien locked eyes with me. "You have to let her go, man. Either that, or just let her kill you."

"Damien! Don't even say that shit!" Mia hissed.

I just ignored them both and went to my room. Although I couldn't sleep, I enjoyed laying on my bed. It gave me time to contemplate my options. Did I really want to die? Yes. Did I want to die right now? No.

My better half knew that I could never be with Roza again, and wanted me to leave her alone, but the other half wanted me to kill her soul and turn her into my kind. I could imagine the entire process in my head. I would go for her at night and grab her from behind. Then, I would bite into her flesh harshly, while laying her on the ground. Finally, I would let her drink from me. That would seal the deal. But I had an alternate ending. **'Maybe,'** I thought. **'I could just kill her right there. I can just imagine how good she'd taste.' **I quicklypulled my demon half back under control. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I murmured, "God, Dimitri. Who are you?"


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you, aenon, rosemarie17, and X.-Be-Vampire.x.X for your comments.

I do not own anything from Vampire Academy.

Please, enjoy!

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Rose's POV

_There are so many people out today._ I thought to myself as I reached for the map in my backpack. I was in Russia. After visiting all the places I imagined he would be and then some, I was here again. I looked down at the map and quickly became aggravated. Directions were never my cup of tea. "Well, shit!" I hissed in anger as I threw the map to the ground, stepping on it afterward. _Great, I just earned a few more stares. _I was tired of this. I was tired of going to bed each and every night with nothing to show for it. It was tiring. "You just need something to eat Rose." I whispered to myself as I entered a nearby cafe.

Sitting down, I checked my watch. It read 7:58. _Almost dark. _I thought as I sifted through the menu. "Of course it's not in English."

"Try the Geudgea. It's probably your safest bet." The man's thick Russian accent sent chills through my body. I had to force my eyes to look up at him. He was smiling at me as if we were old friends. "You were looking for something to eat, right?"

I had to find my voice. "Y-Yes." I replied shortly. Studying him, I found that he bared hardly any resemblance to Dimitri. His hair was short and black, and he was cleanly shaved. His brown eyes were the only thing that bothered me. I realized then, that I was starring. "You can sit down." I said quietly. "If you want."

He nodded as he sat down across from me in the booth. "I'm on my break anyways." It was only then that I noticed his uniform. A white shirt with a little green emblem on it, black slacks, and a queer green hat. "I'm sorry. My name is Aleksandr Bogdanov. You were here six months ago, correct?"

I thought for a minute before answering. "Excuse me?"

"I remember you. You came in here for a quick second, scanned the room, and left before I could ask you if you wanted to be seated."

"How can remember something like that? There are so many people..." I trailed off my sentence. I didn't want to sound to eager.

He contemplated answering for a while. Looking around us for eavesdroppers I supposed. "Well, you don't really see many Dhampirs around here very often."

His words struck me like a metal bat to the head. He was human, wasn't he? No, I quickly corrected myself. Of course. How did I not notice before? I was too caught up in my stupid thoughts, that's how. _You can't let your guard down, Rose. He could be working with them. _I didn't really believe that, but who the hell knows? Not me.

"So, the Ge-u-dg-ea, eh? Did I say that right?" I asked. As he started to open his mouth, I interrupted. "Never mind, don't answer that. So, you say it's good. I'll trust you." _Damn, shouldn't of said that. _I waved down the waitress and gave her my order. From the way she laughed, I could tell that I did _not_ say it right. Oh, who gives a hell? Not me.

After she left, I looked at him square in the eyes. They seemed...sad. Had those other smiles actually reached his eyes? I couldn't remember. I had to think of what to say. This was really my first interaction with another one of my kind since I left. Well, I had never spoke to any of the ones I had seen. "Well, Aleksandr is it? I just can't help but to come straightforward with you. What do you want from me?"

He seemed shocked. "I don't want anything. I was just surprised. Is that...surprising to you?"

What the hell was with this guy? He was too open. "No." I replied. I reached into my bag and pulled out my money, handing him a hefty amount. "Here, just give this to the waitress. You can have the food if you want. I gotta run."

As I got up to leave, he grabbed my hand in one swift motion. _Does he have a death wish? _I thought as I locked eyes with him again once more. "Could I...have your name?"

_Ha! An easy answer for once!_ "Sorry, Alek. I don't give it." I yanked my arm from his grip and stalked out of the cafe. As the door closed, I could of sworn I heard him say that it was dangerous, but by then, I was in a short sprint. After about an hour of running in no desired direction, I stopped and fell to the grass beneath me. _Okay, and this is why you don't interact with others anymore. _I looked up to see the streets around me empty. How far had I ran? Everyone was inside. _Shit! Shit, shit shit! _I looked around and realized that I was at least an hour and a half away from the hotel. "Great! And you threw your damn map! Moron!" I reached for my backpack, and I could of slapped myself. ""No." I looked around me. "No, please, no." Not only did I have no map, I had no stake either. I had nothing. _Great! _

And it was at that exact moment that I felt extremely nausea.

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I hoped you liked it. If you did, tell me! If you didn't, you can tell me also!

:)

Thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Woo-Hoo! I was surprised that I got this up so soon. I hope you enjoy. :)

I don't own anything from Vampire Academy.

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Dimitri's POV

**'Aleksandr...Bemekov...no...Bogdanov. Yes, That was him.'**I knew I had recognized him. I had only arrived two minutes prior to now and found Roza speaking with my distant cousin. '**What does he want?'**It was just got dark, and everything was pretty much closed down except for that twenty-four hour cafe. Most people knew it was dangerous to prowl the streets at night around here. Strog...,or my kind, were known to hunt in these areas. I wonder if she knew that. She should be leaving soon, or so I hoped.

As I glanced back through the window, I saw that Alek was holding onto her arm. Roza, my Roza, didn't seem happy. As I saw her advancing for the door, I ran about thirty feet back, making sure I couldn't be sensed. And then she started running. I followed her with ease, and eventually, she stopped and fell to the ground. After a few moments, her face turned from confused, to pissed, to worried, and she started looking frantically around. '**Oh, what I wouldn't give for a drop of her blood. I could just...NO!' **I had to quickly stop myself from advancing towards her any further. I wanted to hold her so badly. I wondered if she could ever trust me like this. '**No, but I could always trust her. I always have.'**

_I couldn't stop thinking about what happened on the squad with Stan today. I knew Rose was always prepared, and she just blew it. I knew there was something she wasn't telling me. _

_"What happened then? With Stan?" I just had to ask. She looked away from me. No eye contact. Something was definitely going on. _

_She thought for a long while before answering. "I don't know what happened out there. My intentions were good...I just...I just messed up."_

_Wrong answer. I knew her better than that. "Rose. You're a terrible liar."_

_She looked up quickly in defense. Of course. "No I'm not. I've told a lot of good lies in my life. People have believed them." I smiled. I wondered if she thought was a good thing._

_"I'm sure. But it doesn't work with me. For one thing, you won't look me in the eyes. As for the other...I don't know. I can just tell."_

_She knew I figured her out. How could she think that I would of fallen for it? She stalked towards the door and stopped, keeping her back towards me. I wondered why she just wouldn't tell me. _

_"Look, I appreciate you being worried about me...but really, it's okay. I just messed up. I'm embarrassed about it—and sorry I put your awesome training to shame—but I'll rebound. Next time, Stan's ass is mine." I still wasn't biting. I got up slowly and made my way over to her. I could touch her shoulder right? Just one little touch. I tried to control myself. When my hand touched her shoulder, she instantly went rigid. _

_Rose, I don't know why your lying, but I know you wouldn't do it without good reason. And if there's something wrong—something you're afraid to tell the others--"_

_She whipped around so quickly, I just knew that I struck a nerve. I prayed to God that she was going to tell me. "I'm not afraid." she seemed so small. Like she really was trying to hold everything back. She didn't need to though. She went on about feeling sorry for her, but I didn't reply to any of it. I just took her face in. I wanted to see her beautiful smile. I wanted to let her know I was here for her no matter what._

_"You don't have to do this alone." I wanted her to fall in my arms and tell me everything. I wanted to protect her. It went against everything I ever taught her about being strong and independent. _

_"You say that...but tell me the truth. Do you go running to others when you have problems?"_

_I hadn't expected that. "That's not the same--"_

_"Answer the question, comrade." God, that stupid name._

_"Don't call me that." I knew I secretly loved it._

_"And don't avoid the question either."_

_"No." I answered in defeat. "I try to deal with my problems on my own." Well I knew that didn't get me any closer to her telling me the truth._

_She then slipped away from my hand. "See?"_

_I had to bring up a difference. "But you have a lot of people in your life that you can trust, people who care about you. That changes things." Okay, that wasn't that good, but maybe..._

_"You don't have people who care about you?" Of course she would find away to defy me. _

_I knew I had people like that in my life, and I told her that, but I also said it didn't mean I'd tell them everything. The only person I wanted to run to now was her. My Roza._

_Her next question surprised me. "Do you trust me?"_

_Yes. I thought. Wait, I need to tell her. "Yes." Great, she probably thought there was hesitation in that answer. _

_"Then trust me now, and don't worry about me just this once." And just like that, she was gone. I knew I couldn't put up a struggle anymore about this situation. She needed my trust, and I would always give it to her._

**And now, she will never ask for it again. She will only think of me for what I am, a monster. **I kept trying to think of ways to have her with me, but there was nothing. All I could do was stare from afar until I get the courage to let her kill me.

"So, we meet again, my brother."

I whipped around quickly to be eye level with my source of hatred. Kieron.

"What are you doing here?"

He casually wiped his blonde hair from his eyes and starred ahead. He let out a small chuckled and whispered, "I just wanted to pay Rosie a visit." A playful smile was plastered on his face.

At this moment, I went to grab him, but he must have predicted my movement because that was when he launched towards her.

I knew she was defenseless. I knew he wanted her dead. And I knew that if I tried to save my precious Roza, I'd probably kill her too.

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I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

First thing's first. I want to say thank you to all the people that reviewed my story.

Now, I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!

I don't own anything from Vampire Academy.

Oh, and just so you know, Kieron is the blonde Strogoi from the caves. I just now that some people didn't know who he was, and I wanted to clear things up. :)

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Rose POV

A bite. A single bite from a Moroi can give you complete bliss. The person receiving it usually knows they are in no danger, for they are usually feeders or blood whores. You start to feel so light and everything suddenly slurs and becomes pleasurable. A Strogoi bite on the other hand...is the polar opposite. It makes you feel utterly numb of all senses and nothing seems to piece together anymore. It's quite frustrating. You know you're in danger. You know you're probably going to die, but you can't do anything about it because your too damn fucked up. And this was exactly how I felt when that blonde son of a bitch bit into my shoulder.

I felt my body crash against the ground beneath me, and all I could see was the blood. It was everywhere. I turned over on my back and tried to put pressure on my shoulder. The press of my fingertips was barely recognizable. I was too weak. _I'm going to die, and I didn't even get to fulfill my promise to Dimitri. _

"Wow, Rosie. You don't look too good." He leaned down until he was only two inches from my face and laughed.

I tried to speak, but I was far too messed up to put together a sentence in my head. So I spat on him. _Probably not the smartest thing to do, but I'm gonna die anyways right? _I thought as he snarled at me. It was then that I could see his fangs. It was hard to believe that something so little could do so much damage, but now I had experienced it first hand.

"Ha! And I even thought about keeping you and letting you join your lover. Oh well, I'm hungry anyways." As he ended this sentence, I closed my eyes tightly. _Maybe, _I thought, _Dimitri will forgive someday. Well...if he even cares anymore. _I could feel blondie's face drawing nearer to my neck, and I started wondering how long it would be until he sucked me dry. I hoped it wouldn't take long. I finally felt his fangs grazing my neck, trying to find the perfect spot, and that was when I heard it. The most beautiful sound in the world. His voice.

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Okay, so, I know this one was short, but I wanted to do this other part of the scene in Dimitri's point of view since Rose is all messed up. It will be up soon! Promise.

Thank you for reading. :)


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, so, I changed my mind at the last moment.

Thanks for waiting though. Enjoy :)

I don't own anything from Vampire Academy.

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Rose's POV

I blamed it on the bite. Sure, now that I was stitched up and bandaged, I didn't know how I could have mistaken that Alek guy's voice for his, but apparently it was possible. So, I blame it on the bite. I never was more let down recently than when I looked up to see Alek staking the blonde Strogoi instead of Dimitri, but at least I was alive.

"How are you feeling?" His voice startled me, while at the same time, frustrating me to death. He was the last one I wanted to see right now, but he was the only that could of helped me back there. I wouldn't have gone with anyone else. He had brought me back to his apartment above the cafe and doctored me up. Let me tell you, nothing was more interesting than trying to get through the back door of that place and up the stairs without someone noticing. Especially since he had to carry me the whole way. I didn't remember this, but for the last two hours of my conscientiousness, he hadn't stopped talking about how out of it I was. _Damn prick...I ought to-_

"Rose! Are you okay?" Oh yeah, I hadn't answered his question.

"Yeah. Fine. Go Away." I said through gritted teeth. Sure, when I talked to him earlier, he seemed all friendly and nice, but after spending time with him, he was just plain arrogant and stubborn.

"You know, that's not a very nice way of talking to someone who just saved your ass." He said smirking. And there it was! _What does he want? A fucking gold medal? _I had thanked him, but apparently, that wasn't enough.

"Look, Alek. I said thank you for everything. I mean, woo-hoo! You saved and helped me. Big deal. You got lucky. I wouldn't be surprised if this was your first time actually succeeding in a battle though!" Okay, so I didn't mean to yell, but what ever. It wasn't until I looked up at him that I regretted what I had just said. His eyes. They were suddenly overcast by sadness. I wondered immediately if he actually had failed before. _Maybe he lost someone he loved. Maybe...he couldn't save them in time. Just like me._ "I--" He cut me off by getting up and leaving the room. _Rosemarie Hathaway, you are officially and ass. _

And as much as I hated apologizing, I knew I had to. I got up and made my way out of the room. As I neared his door, I hesitated. _No, you have to. Just get it over with._ I knocked lightly on the door and waited a few seconds. Nothing. I knocked again.

"Come in." Opening the door, I saw Alek sitting on his bed, his back towards me. I stepped in a saw a picture on his bookshelf. It was of him and a woman. She was beautiful. She had long red hair, a little button nose, high cheek bones, and a pretty smile. _That must be who he lost. It only makes since. _I walked up to him and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Alek. I mean...I didn't think...You were so..." I was lost with words.

"It's okay." He looked up at me and gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I've accepted that I didn't safe her. Sometimes...I guess I just don't always keep my strength up." He reached up his hand and placed it on my forearm. At that moment, my eyes connected with his and I realized that I understood his pain. We shared the same sorrow in that department.

I don't exactly know when we started kissing, but by the time I realized what was happening, I was already half naked underneath him. I pushed his chest up and looked at him.

"I don't want a relationship. I--"  
He hushed me and got close to my face, still keeping eye contact. I could feel his breath on me as he whispered, "I know Rose. I don't either. Just let me take away some of that pain that strains through your eyes."

The only thing I could say was okay. Soon enough, all our clothes were off and I was bracing myself for the next thing to come. He was gentle with me. He kissed away all the tears I shed during that time, and told me he knew how much it hurt. I just hoped that I was taking away some of his pain too. Afterward, I laid against him and let myself slip away into sleep, suddenly wishing I hadn't.

I looked around me and saw flowers everywhere. _At least I'm in normal clothes_, I thought to myself as I looked down at my jeans and my red t-shirt. Looking up, I saw Adrian sitting on a bench about ten feet away. He had a smile played on his lips.

"My, my little Dhampir. Long time no see." His words were enough. I snapped. Running up to him, he stood up just in time for me to throw my arms around him. I missed it all. My life back home. Well, I didn't know if I could really call it home, but whatever. "No hello?"

I looked up at him and laughed. I actually laughed because I felt happy enough to. "Hello Adrian." Letting him go, I asked, "How are you?"

"Wow, you're actually being nice. Usually when I invade your dreams, you look like you want to bring me to an execution."

"Well maybe you're just lucky today." I had almost forgot what joking was. Seeing him reminded me how lost I was. "Well! Tell me everything. How is everybody?"

"And by everybody, you mean Lissa?" _Lissa._ I missed her so much. Sometimes just the thought of her face made me want to go back, but I never did. I wanted to know everything. Adrian took my silence as a yes. "She's doing well. She married Christian two months ago." I gasped. Lissa got married? We had always talked about how it was going to be. I guess I didn't get to be her maid of honor as we always planned. Apparently, Adrian saw my sadness. "You know...she waited. She expected you to come back. We all did. And...then...we all decided we couldn't wait anymore. That's actually why I came here..."

This couldn't be happening. _No. _Was he saying goodbye? I couldn't take it. _Wake up, dammit! Don't let him finish!_ Suddenly, everything faded and I opened my eyes.

"Thank god." I whispered. I knew that since he didn't finish, he would come back. _At least I have something to look forward to._ I thought as I sat up. Looking over to my right, I saw Alek asleep. That was when I remembered last night. I felt so...free. That was when I decided a few more minutes couldn't hurt. I lay back down and snuggled close to his chest. In my head, he was Dimitri. And that was what I kept telling myself.

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Just so you know, NO. She doesn't get together with Alek. He was just a little side action. And, YES. The next chapter will be in Dimitri's point of view of what happened with the attack.

Thank you all for reading! :)


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